i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
