i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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