Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
