U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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