don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
