I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize