While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
