It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
