Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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