i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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