hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I can't put those talents on a resume
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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