Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
