so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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