I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
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