I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
