Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
