I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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