I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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