Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
