He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
