omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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