I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
