Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
