Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I believe in your delicious
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
