party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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