I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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