youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
