So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
