Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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