Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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