Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
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There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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