I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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