i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
