Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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