I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
The air taste purple.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
