its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize