I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
