At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
