sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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