I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
