So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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