so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
