therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
