i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
