I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
