I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
In America we eat man semen.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
