Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Did I show you my penis last night?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
