Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
