Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
