How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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