It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
