Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
