i just google imaged poop.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
