whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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