I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
