theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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