Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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