this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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