See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
