I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
