Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
