People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
